What nobody tells you about marrying a Colombian woman
The most important decision you will ever make — and why you're being lied to about it
We live in wild times.
This morning my wife took our newborn baby to a medical appointment.
As she carefully climbed into the Uber with the baby strapped to her body in one of those wrap around baby carriers, the Uber driver made an odd remark.
“Ahh, you’re taking it to the vet?”
My wife puzzled and unsure what to say just smiled and ignored him.
Then, as they wove their way through the Medellin streets the driver piped up a second time...
“Is he sick? Are you going to take the little animal to the veterinary?”
My wife responded with “Uhh, he’s not an animal, he’s a baby.”
The Uber driver, realizing his mistake, was extremely embarassed and apologized profusely, but this story highlights something deeply disturbing that is happening in our society.
An Uber driver who meets dozens of passengers a day, hundreds of new people every week, assumed that it was more likely my wife was taking her pet dog to a medical appointment, than her newborn baby.
How many pet dogs wrapped up in baby carriers has this guy seen?
It must be a lot.
Because actually having a young child in the baby carrier didn’t even cross his mind as a possibility.
It’s not his fault I might add, but it does demonstrate what the data already shows.
All around the world, people are increasingly choosing to forego children, to abstain from building a marriage and a family, and instead choosing to remain “free and single”.
Many have been duped into thinking that getting married and raising children, is no longer a worthwhile vocation. And the attacks on marriage come from all sides of the political spectrum.
On the left, feminists will claim that marriage is an oppressive institution that serves only to subjugate and chain women to their overbearing husbands.
On the right, the red pill bros tell us that women are all dishonest, hypergamous hoes and that a man entering marriage is risking everything for almost zero benefit.
And this anti-marriage messaging campaign is having an effect.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve seen expat & digital nomad bros in the Colombia facebook groups regurgitate red pill talking points.
If anyone so much as asks for advice on how to navigate the legal paperwork necessary for marriage in Colombia, you can be assured that their post will be met with endless mockery and jeering from guys who claim that getting married is “for cucks”, and “not worth it”.
Meanwhile, birth rates have plummeted to below replacement levels and young people are increasingly choosing to cohabitate and put off having children in favour of being able to afford a nicer car, or take more vacations to Cancun.
Unfortunately, that pesky maternal instinct doesn’t just evaporate.
Which is why pet dogs have become the go to substitute for young women who want to indulge their intrinsic desire to care for something small, cute and defenseless.
Just venture into any shopping mall in Colombia, and you’ll be met with the bizarre phenomena of people pushing their pet chihuahua around in a stroller, or taking Daisy the Labradoodle for a pedicure in the “doggy salon”.
Having children? That’s out of fashion.
My wife has lost count of the times she’s been given weird looks and off-hand comments when she’s out with our growing gang of kids, and she could never make it through a single pregnancy checkup without being lectured about contraception.
The war on marriage and the family is not some wild internet conspiracy theory, you can see it happening in real time. Just look at the numbers.
Europe’s fertility rate sits at 1.41 births per woman in 2025 (Statista, 2025), while Colombia’s is 1.71 (macrotrends.net, 2024)—both well below the replacement level of 2.1 needed to keep a population stable.
France, traditionally Europe’s most fertile nation, dropped to just 1.61 in 2024 (EU Eurostat, 2024), yet even that relatively “high” number means fewer people are being born than are dying.
So what do we do? Well as a married man myself, I feel it’s my duty to speak up.
My primary motivation for writing this substack is to help dispel the myths and lies about Colombia, but also about marriage and family – with a specific focus on my experiences as a foreign man married to a Colombian woman and raising a family here.
My hope, is to encourage more young men to make the decision to get married and raise a family, because without it, you quite literally can’t have a civilization.
For 90% of men, marriage is the single most important and consequential thing they will ever do in their lives.
So approaching it with a clear understanding of what marriage is for, what it’s actually like, and why it’s important is essential.
I read what gringos in Colombia write in facebook groups.
I listen to the passport bro and expat youtube videos.
Honestly, most of it makes me cringe so hard I feel like my face is going to shatter from second-hand embarassment.
There are so many misconceptions, misunderstandings and outright lies floating around that it’s hard to know where to start.
So today, let’s begin with something almost all of the nerds commenting about marriage don’t actually have... real, first-hand experience of being married to a woman.
And I’m not talking just any woman. I’m talking about a Colombian woman.
My wife Alejandra and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary this week.
Aside from thinking a lot about which pair of gold diamond earrings she’d like best, it’s had me thinking deeply about our marriage, our experience so far and what it’s meant for us both.
There’s a lot I could say about this, and I will expound more on this topic in future so make sure you’re subscribed – but for now, here are three of what I think are the most important things to know when considering marriage to a Colombian woman.
When you marry a Colombian woman, you’re marrying her entire family—so choose wisely.
The most important decision you will ever make is choosing who to marry.
This isn’t just about the woman herself. When you marry a Colombian woman, you’re marrying into her entire family network.
If you’ve been dating a Colombian chick for any amount of time, then you’ve probably already met a thousand primos, hermanos, abuelas, tios, tias etc.
Pay attention to how you interact and get along with these people, because as soon as you’re married they’re always going to play a role in your life - especially her mother.
The Colombian Suegra (mother-in-law) is a force to be reckoned with.
Her influence over your wife is profound.
Most women in Colombia grow up in single mother households, so their mother is an incredibly important figure in their lives.
If you fall foul of the suegra, you’re in for a difficult road. But, if you cultivate a genuine relationship with her, you’ve gained an ally unlike any other.
The truth is, your suegra will often give you a snapshot of who your wife may become in 20 years. And more importantly, if you choose a woman whose mother is someone you genuinely care about, you’ve not only married well—you’ve gained a support network that will be invaluable when you’re raising kids and juggling life.
My own suegra is wonderful. She’s a positive presence in our children’s lives, and a source of wisdom and support for my wife.
So when you’re considering marrying a Colombian woman, don’t just ask yourself if you love her. Ask yourself: Would I want this woman’s family in my life for the next 50 years?
If the answer is anything less than an enthusiastic yes, keep looking.
If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Latinas have a reputation for fiery temperaments, and if you’re going to marry one, you need to understand what that actually means.
Dating a latina forges some men into a better, stronger version of themselves. But others break and can’t handle it.
But here’s the thing nobody tells you: Her emotional intensity isn’t going away. It’s not a phase. It’s not something you can fix or logically argue her out of.
It’s who she is, and holding it against her isn’t going to work.
If you’re the type of guy who can’t handle an emotional and temperamental woman, then marrying a Colombiana probably isn’t for you.
But if you can handle it, here’s the golden rule:
Stop taking it personally.
I can’t overstate this. The biggest mistake guys make is mirroring her emotional state and letting her dictate the tone of the relationship.
When she’s upset and acting irrationally, that doesn’t mean you need to follow her lead, it means you need to stay calm and provide the rock steady emotional foundation that strong relationships are built on.
Don’t try to logic her into a better mood.
Don’t give her the silent treatment.
Don’t sulk like a teenager. Just stay calm and hold the line.
Let her cool down, then talk about it later when she’s in a better frame of mind.
When you do this your wife will be able to relax and feel safe around you. And women need to feel safe to truly let their guard down and stop being defensive.
Most of the “fiery” temperament that is typical in latinas is actually a defense mechanism built up from living in an unstable environment.
Many latinas grow up in unstable homes and are surrounded by “hyper-masculine” macho type males that often pose a danger to them.
So the only way to truly get her to relax around you and gain her respect and confidence, is by demonstrating that you’re not going to fall apart when things get intense, and that you’re mature enough to not take her emotional outbursts personally.
When you demonstrate calm, grounded leadership, the drama will decrease and the relationship will deepen.
The men who fail are the ones who try to control her emotions, either through aggression or passive-aggression, or get butt hurt when she’s being emotional.
So don’t be that guy.
Colombian women make excellent wives and mothers.
Everyone assumes foreign men come to Colombia because the women are beautiful. They are. But that’s not why they stay.
They stay because Colombian women are just nicer. They’re kind. They’re feminine. They don’t get offended when you tell them they’re pretty and you want to date them. They embrace their womanhood rather than resent it.
The sexual dynamics here are more natural. Men are attracted to women who are feminine. Women are attracted to men who are masculine. There’s no endless discourse about “toxic masculinity” simply because a man expresses desire for a woman and the result is that women here are happier because they’re not fighting against their own nature.
Yes there are predatory and manipulative women everywhere, including Colombia. If you’re only looking at physical appearance when choosing a wife, you’ll probably come to regret it. But if you know how to spot genuine kindness and honesty, and how to spot the red flags, then Colombia is actually one of the best places on earth to find wife and mother material.
And I say this from direct experience.
When my wife and I met, she wasn’t particularly focused on marriage or children. But as we grew closer and she saw my commitment to building a stable family, something shifted.
When you have principles and you show a woman a clear vision for your future together, most of the time, she’ll follow you.
We got engaged after 12 months of dating, and the transormation in both of us has been incredible.
Watching her step into motherhood has been like witnessing a flower bloom. There’s something deeply sacred about seeing a woman fulfill her natural potential for motherhood. She’s become the most loving, nurturing, protective mother to our children. And despite the stereotype of the “fiery Latina,” Colombian women are extraordinarily warm and devoted mothers and wives.
Don’t listen to the noise
No doubt when I post this, I’ll get a bunch of red pill bros in the comments saying marriage “isn’t worth it.”
And if you’re a young man considering marriage, maybe you’ve seen those same comments and watched those same youtube videos, and you’re wondering if marriage isn’t such a great idea.
So here’s what I’ll say.
Many of the red pill criticisms about modern dating dynamics are justified.
But the red pill solution isn’t any kind of solution at all, because avoiding marriage altogether is catastropically wrong and terrible advice.
Yes, some men get ruined by divorce. Yes, manipulative women exist. Yes, marriage involves risk.
But let me ask you this: Have you considered the risk of not getting married?
Because if this for you is a simple risk calculation, avoiding marriage is the worst option of all.
Because yes marriage comes with some risk, not as much as people claim I would add, but some. But avoiding marriage comes with a cast-iron guarantee that you will die alone.
Avoiding marriage means having nobody to remember you when you’re gone. It means ending your bloodline and reaching old age with no family, no legacy, no evidence that you ever mattered.
That Uber driver who couldn’t conceive of a baby in a carrier? He’s living in a world where baby chihuahua’s are more common than baby children.
That’s where we’re headed if we keep listening to the people telling us marriage is a bad choice.
Red pill bros are wrong about marriage because they view it as a mere transaction, or a “lifestyle” upgrade. That’s a wrong assumption rooted in our consumerist culture.
Marriage isn’t a lifestyle choice, it’s a vocation. It’s not about what you “get” – although you do benefit massively from it – it’s about what you can give.
Marriage is what real men do because they understand the importance of giving themselves to something that is greater than themselves. Something that transcends their own personal ego and selfish desires.
I’m not going to lie to you, marriage is hard. Raising a family is hard. It requires sacrifice, compromise, and the willingness to put someone else’s needs before your own. But you know what? Men are built to do hard things, and for the vast majority of us marriage is the most important thing we will ever do in our lives.
Avoiding it is easier, I get it. And you may think that you’re playing the smart game by not tying yourself down to a girl and children.
But let me tell you this.
Your business won’t remember you.
Your social media following won’t visit your grave.
Your friends won’t think you’re still cool when you’re a 56 year old dude still going to the club.
But when you have children, they will carry on your story and your legacy will ripple through generations you’ll never meet. That’s not sentimentality. That’s not a religious argument. That’s the most rational argument for marriage that exists.
So yes, marry a Colombian woman if you find the right one—one whose family you genuinely want in your life, one whose fire you can not only tolerate but appreciate, and one who genuinely wants to build something with you.
But more importantly, just get married. Build a family. Create something that matters. Something that transcends the boundaries of your own ego.
That’s how civilizations survive. That’s what separates the men from the boys. And honestly, it’s probably the only thing that will ever make you truly happy.